I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I pour the whiskey from now on
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
