No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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