wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
