Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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