Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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