I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
