We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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