so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
