**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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