I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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