That's intense
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
