We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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