Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When are your genitals available?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
