I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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