what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
