why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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