Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
