with your own penis?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
