just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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