no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
