So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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