sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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