Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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