some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
