I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize