her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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