I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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