he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
