is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
