i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
