the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Terrible idea I love it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
