My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
