I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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