Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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