I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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