dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
