She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
