That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
