Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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