I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
