i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize