she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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