If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
