I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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