so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
