well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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