Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
