I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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