New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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