can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
