that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
