According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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