im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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