Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
