fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The feeling are messing with the penis
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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