Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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