pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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