She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
