Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
