My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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