I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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