Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
