Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
